Every emotion is valid.What we feel is the real experience we are in.But, emotions are not always accurate or logical.For example: The anger you feel towards your spouse for the hurtful thing they said to you is painful and real.You feel this pain and instantly your amygdala, the fight or flight center of your brain, gets ready to attack or defend.When you are reacting this way your prefrontal cortex, the critical thinking part of your brain, is shut off.The emotion is valid, the pain is real, but you are unable to make the healthy choices that you want to if you are being led by that emotion alone.
Therefor we need to find the balance of honoring the emotions while not allowing every emotion toss us too and fro like like a leaf adrift in the ocean.Remember, authority is not control it is leadership.We want to work with our emotions and lead them to be a healthy part of our lives, decision making and relationships.We can do this by:
Practicing empathy with ourselves.Give space for yourself to feel the pain and the emotion and find healthy ways to express them.
Learn to breath and recenter yourself when you are in an emotional amygdala hijack (fight or flight) response.
Balance your emotional reaction with critical thinking questions like this: “Who do I want to be in this moment?”“How do I want to respond?”“What boundaries do I need to set?”“What will be the impact if I respond emotionally here?”
Take back authority over your life by leading your emotions instead of letting them lead you
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