Untrained desire is dangerous.There is no doubt about it.Desire untrained can lead to addiction, abuse, selfishness, pride, betrayal and many other terrible things.It is a powerful force.We have all been hurt by untrained desire in one way or another.The answer then for most is to throw the baby out with the bathwater.Like many other things, instead of learning how to heal a broken part of us, we throw it in the trash heap and try to forget about it.
But, to throw away desire is to throw away a core piece of who you are.The spark of life in you and the unique energy you have flows directly from this place of passion.Bravery, tenacity, curiosity, creativity and joy are just a few powerfully good things that flow from this place.We can try to smother the dangerous parts of desire but in doing so we put out the whole fire, distinguishing the light and warmth of life we were made to emit.
So, instead let’s learn to train our desires.Let’s find language to talk about it.Let’s lean into both beauty and pain. Let’s get curious and ask questions.Like an overwhelmed parent of an energetic child we often lean too far to the extremes, either giving them too much leeway to do whatever they want or are too constricting, shutting them down at every turn.Let’s learn to navigate moment by moment realizing how to set healthy boundaries for our desires; when to fully delight and when to hold back.
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