Chapter 3 in Fathered By God


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The Boy is a Warrior

My 2-year-old son, Nolan, reminds me all the time of what it is like to be a boy.
Do you remember what it was like to be a boy?  What did you love to do?  Who did you want to be?

Secondhand Lions

This movie, Secondhand Lions, gives a great picture of what many of our boyhoods were like relating to what Walter missed and what he received.    Walter experiences the painful devastation of abandonment, fear, the unknown, not being initiated in the beginning of the movie.  As the story goes on the two old men grow to love Walter and start offering him initiation, love, acceptance, words of wisdom and much more.  If you have not seen this movie, this would be a great resource to connect you back to your own boyhood.

Picture Yourself

One of the most important parts of our work in this stage is to remember yourself as a boy.  We want to be able to peak through the fog of time and find our young self looking back at us.  This will help us in every part of this week’s and next week’s assignments.
IMG_0381Find a picture of yourself when you were a boy.  Put it on your desk or mirror or wherever you will see it.  This will help us remember.  This is my picture.  My best friend and I, ready for a great hunting trip or maybe a great war armed only with a turkey call.

Morgan’s Blog

IMG_1660-1-760x507What would it look like to become a son?  To receive a spirit of sonship whereby we could literally cry out Abba Father, from a sincere and full heart (Romans 8).  Read the blog here.


Key Points
Much of our current life approach originated in childhood. We want to recover the good and find healing for what was not.
We are intended to enter into a world of security and adventure balanced by a loving, strong father.
We must know to the very core of our beings that we are the beloved of our father.
A core need for the boy is to know that life is not something he has to arrange for.
Over the course of years, you were meant to soak in the reality that you are noticed, your heart matters and your father adores you.



(Respond personally to each question in your journal)

What is your favorite memory of adventure or exploration as a boy?
Who were the main characters in your boyhood and what were they like? (Dad, Mom, siblings, friends, etc.)
Pick five words that describe your childhood.
Was your world safe?   Secure? Did you feel taken care of?
Describe what “Beloved Son” means. What is your reaction to being called “Beloved Son?”
How or when, over the course of your life has God brought you a sense that you are his “Beloved Son?”
What will have to happen for your position as God’s Beloved Son to become the foundational identity of your life?
How might this change your life?
Do you expect God to show up in your daily life? In practical ways? In failures, victories, arguments, marriage, friendships, decisions, etc?   Why or why not?



(Find space to be alone with God and ask him these questions.  You may want to bring your journal to capture what He says)

Father, bring up memories of me as a boy. What is your heart towards that little boy?   What do you see?
We often do not allow ourselves to receive our belovedness because we feel unworthy. Our belovedness is based on HIS worthiness, not ours. Father, can you help me forgive my own inability to earn worthiness and start receiving it from you? 



(Take time to talk to your ally face to face or over the phone about these questions)

Discuss the journal questions with your ally.
What are your three biggest takeaways from this chapter?
Did God speak to you at all in your solitude? What did he say? What did you notice about yourself in solitude?



(Take time for a personal worship time during this week)
How does a child worship God?  Probably not in the stiff, awkward, hesitant way that most adults do.  It seems a child just freely expresses themselves.  When there is something amazing they say “Wow!” and it takes their attention completely.  When something is exciting they run and jump and loudly proclaim the joy.  When music is playing they dance and sing without a care.
God is amazing, exciting, and full of joy.  What is your reaction to Him?  Let your heart go to a childlike place in worship.
What does the boy in you want to say to Jesus?  What does he want to do with Jesus?  Write a few things down in your journal.
This song by Jonathan Helser gives a beautiful picture of how God created us for intimacy.  The only way we can accept our identity as the Beloved Son is if we accept the level of intimacy that God invites us into.


In worship, write down all the things you are grateful for in the way that God created you and interacts with you as a Father and you as His son.


What Did You Learn

Try to synthesize everything that you learned down to a few main points by revisiting your notes from each section.  Pay special attention to the “Key Points” section.

1 reply
  1. George Appel
    George Appel says:

    I couldn’t answer the questions this week. They stirred up too many painful memories.
    Or they screamed at me about all the things I missed when I was a boy. Either way they reminded me of an unhappy childhood. Mark F. has sent a few suggestions about coping.


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