“This is so boring.” My seven-year-old often says with his slight Boston accented “r”s common to young children. I can’t say that I disagree. In fact, many times I find tasks, circumstances or (embarrassingly) things people are telling me boring… Maybe you can relate.
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If there is anything more damaging than the initial triggering event that sends us into an intense emotional reaction, it is the belief that comes fast on its heals, whispering to us,”You are not capable, not prepared and not enough to handle this.” Most of us can get through the initial waves of fear anger or sadness that come in a crisis. The displacement is uncomfortable and disorienting, but eventually we find our footing again. The problem comes when we buy into the lie that we are unable to handle the situation we are in. Hopelessness, powerlessness and despair start setting in. When those take hold, it is a deep dark hole to climb out of.
I cried today. It felt good to release. It was only for twenty seconds or so. I didn’t know how sad I was until that moment. These tears sprung forth un-summoned, but I let them come, I did not stop the flow. I felt the burning, surging emotion come from deep within my chest and out through the hot tears.
As the coronavirus has slowly shut down the outside world to me, I have been noticing something about myself: I feel safe in normalcy. I strive for predictability. I am addicted to certainty and trust in what I feel like is control. I measure my emotional safety and okay-ness on how normal my day is going. Yikes.
Series: How to See in this Time of Need
I just got back from a trip to the Colorado Springs area of Colorado. It was beautiful spring weather displaying the full majesty of the front range of the Rocky Mountains. One of the things that fascinates me about this area is the wildfires. There are whole sides of mountains that have only dead trees sticking up like the backs of great porcupines arching into the sky. It is beautifully devastating. In fact, it is not only common to have sporadic wildfires in this area, it is essential to the health of the ecosystem.